They always used to say in the joint...
"can't fuckin wait for the gate to pop
can't wait to hear that muthafuckin'
electronic lock slam open and see that bus waiting
Every lowlife ex-con knows the drill
everybody remembers that sound
that THUNK and that
"move your ass or we're makin' ya spend the night!!"
I remember when that gate popped
I don't think I ever stopped hearing that
I sat on the bench on the day I was released
the news was on
another mass shooting
some fuckin clown dressed up like the joker ran into
a movie theater and shot the place up.
killed a bunch of innocent screaming teenagers'
How fitting, I thought.
That fuckin pop was extra loud on this day
The gates of tragedy and of new hopes
and some kind of twisted, dark, 23
year old nihilist humor that lay between it all
Ha
Fucking Joker
Fucking society
I spent the next year or so working labor jobs
and staring out the window of my dad's house
Still... gates everywhere...
outside, at work, around my goddamn ankle, even.
Nobody's free and nothing has changed
I am now bound to a life of hard work and
hard alienation
no wonder everyone goes back..
Back to that endless day
that city of the dead...
all those shades of white laid out over
a 60 man barracks
the arguments, the fights, the goddamn
4:30 AM breakfast call
the chaotic "regularness" of it all
the twisted military and christian overtones wrapping
you in their silky bosom...
some part of having everything taken away from
you really makes you believe that you aren't
human enough for the human experience
like you got picked for the wrong team and now you're
in God's fuck-up box, and that's where they wanted
you to be the whole time.
Trauma, reflection, healing,
backpedaling, ignoring their calls,
drug and alcohol abuse, or..
just... abuse
sweating
crying
running through the reasons
why
THUNK
Society.
The Night Watch 